How to Have Closure When You Lose a Relationship
I hope to find you well! All is well here! We are in full “summer sports mode,” and we are loving every minute with our 2 boys! As crazy busy as we are, I try to embrace every moment, as I know this precious stage in our lives will pass way too fast! We are embracing the craziness
So let’s get down to business! If you have read my blogs, or if you have heard me speak, I often talk about the fact that to move forward in our lives and make changes we truly desire, first, we must release the things in our lives that no longer serve us! The more we can let go of things, such as limiting beliefs, people from our past that create painful feelings for us, or even the things in our physical space that drag us down and no longer serve us, the more we can free ourselves and make room in our lives for amazing things to enter! With regular practice of releasing, we can gain clarity about our life’s direction and where we want to go!
Although there are many things we often have to release to create room for the new to enter, I want to talk about releasing a person after a relationship has ended. Often, we go through break-ups or have lost friendships and/or relationships for one reason or another. The ending of those relationships, generally speaking, does not have closure because of the relationship ending abruptly. Or, if we know the relationship is coming to an end, we often don’t know how to process the emotions that go with the lost relationship in order for us to have proper closure of the loss.
If you have gone through a break-up or you have lost a relationship (not including loss through death, as that is another topic) try this exercise. This exercise can be powerful, especially if there is a person from your past who, when you think about them, triggers painful thoughts and feelings.
6 Steps to Release a Person and Have Closure After the Relationship Has Ended
- Write an unsent letter or sit quietly and imagine this person in their spirit and talk to them out loud or quietly.
- Take 15-30 minutes to sit quietly and write all your thoughts and feelings to this person.
- Express yourself freely – not censoring or judging yourself.
- As you write, try to move from your head to your heart / body, so you can release the emotional energy stuck in your body connected to this person. Remember to breathe through all emotions as a way to process and release.
- You may need to write a few letters to express and release the feelings you have for this person.
- If you are in a space to forgive, you can add:
- I release you.
- I am a grown up, and I can take care of myself.
- I will surround myself only with people who love and support me.
- I can stand up for myself and protect myself.
- I am lovable just the way I am.
- I take the power back, and I no longer allow others to define my worth and lovability.
- I am worthy, I am amazing, and I am surrounded by love 24/7 from my spiritual connection.
**How to release a person is adapted from the Global Association of Holistic Psychotherapy
Like I said, we must have a regular practice of releasing, so we can allow ourselves to let go of things that no longer serve us, so we can gain clarity on how we can move forward in our lives.
If you are curious if there are other areas in your life you need to release, This will allow you to identify hot areas where you need to do more releasing!
As always, I would love to hear your feedback! I know this is not an all-inclusive list, so if there are any other additional things you have done to help get yourself through a lost relationship, I would love to hear from you!
Ronda Stevens, MA, LMFT, Certified Holistic Coach
Ronda Stevens is a licensed mental health therapist, certified health & wellness coach, certified holistic coach, and founder of Ready, Set, Live Holistic Life and Wellness Coaching! Ronda has years of experience with compassionately guiding and supporting people to make changes that dramatically improve and change lives! To learn more, please visit her website at www.getreadysetlive.com. You can call contact her via email at firstname.lastname@example.org . She is also available via phone 1-800-558-7080.