So, I have a question for you… Do you know how amazing you are? Do you know that your spirit, your dreams, your strengths, your passions are all that make you unique, amazing and nothing can take this away from you? All of your amazing gifts and strengths are the heart of who you are. They are your spirit; they are your authentic self!
When you are living from your authentic self, you feel it! You feel joy, fulfillment, and purpose! You see yourself and others through the lens of love, you are hopeful, optimistic and you have a deep sense you are connected to your spiritual connection! Overall, you feel light, joyful and fulfilled! How amazing would it be if you could live life from your authentic self? The good news is you can, but it requires self-reflection, conscious decision-making, and action!
Before I get to the “7 Easy Steps to Become Your Authentic Self Today,” first, we need to address, the “other side,” also known as the conditioned self. Here is the scoop on the conditioned self. The main goal of the conditioned self is to protect you and keep you safe. This part of you does not like change, even if the proposed change is good for you. The conditioned self typically develops during your younger years; but honestly, what I have learned in my own journey is there are several different points in your life it can develop (i.e. bullied in school, transitions such as job loss, move to a new area, loss of a relationship etc.); adding onto what is already there! Fun, I know!
So how does it operate? When we go through painful experiences, our conditioned self kicks in and tells us limiting beliefs, in an attempt to protect us. So, here is an example of how it can work; I have a lot of personal examples I can share. J Like I have mentioned before in previous blogs, during my childhood, we were in complete survival mode on a day-to-day basis because of my step-father’s severe and persistent untreated mental health conditions, his alcohol and drug addictions, combined with his low income. Our entire family system was shut down because we were in constant survival mode. As a way to keep me safe, my conditioned self developed a limiting belief that if I am perfect, if I people please and EVERYONE likes me, then nothing bad will happen and somehow, I then had control when everything else around me was so out of control.
This limiting belief served its purpose when I was younger. However, it still continued into my adulthood. This limiting belief was causing me to feel anxious, like I was never enough, constantly questioning my self-worth and simply exhausted because I was allowing everyone else to define my lovability and worthiness. It felt as though I was constantly riding an emotional roller coaster. It was as if, my little girl who was scared starting from the age of 4, was still running the show. Someone needed to give her an update and let her know she was no longer in danger and was now safe! After taking the lone ranger approach for many years to overcome these painful feelings and never feeling like I was enough, I finally invested in and hired my own coach and mentor. To this day, I am so grateful I made that decision because without their expertise, loving support and guidance, I would still be stuck in the same place I was for so many years! The investment I made in my coach to help me is the best money I have ever spent! If you are stuck and have been years, it is time to seriously consider hiring a coach who can help support you to start living the life you desire! Did I mention, I could be that coach you choose 🙂
So, how do you shift from being in your conditioned self to being in your authentic self? How do you start seeing yourself clearly for how amazing you are and not through the protective, limiting beliefs your conditioned self tells you repeatedly? Well, here is a good place to start with the….
7 Easy Steps to Become Your Authentic Self Today!
- Flood yourself with loving statements, especially when you notice limiting beliefs creeping in. This requires a conscious choice to keep your authentic self firmly in the driver seat. This will take practice, but the more you practice, the easier it gets. This is the beauty of neuroplasticity – the more we practice something, the more our brain changes. Gotta love neuroscience!
- Stay in gratitude. Even when things seem challenging, you are still gifted with so many blessings that surround you. Focus on what you have what you do not have.
- Do the very things you have been avoiding. The things you are avoiding are the things you usually should make a priority. From personal experience, Facebook is a GREAT way to avoid the things you should do that would otherwise bring you joy at the end of the day. 🙂
- De-clutter your physical space. When you clear your physical space, you create space for your authentic self to enter.
- Let go of the negative people in your life. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, support you, and love you unconditionally.
- Develop spiritual practices that keep you connected with your spiritual connection. This will remind you how unconditionally loved you truly are!
- Move your body! I don’t necessarily mean extraneous exercise; it may be that, but it also may be a walk, dance, yoga or a gentle stretch. Ask your body what it needs and it will tell you. 🙂
Lastly, I wanted to share a beautiful testimonial I received from an amazing client of mine! Here is the beautiful message she had to share!
I first met Ronda at a business conference. At that point she didn’t know I existed but her message really resonated with me. My friend hunted down her business card for me and I let it stay posted on my fridge for a few months before I decided to make the phone call. I have been using therapy of all facets since I was an adolescent; everything from traditional in office therapy to meditative practice. Nothing seemed to truly address the inner issue that was the driving force of my life. Ronda has helped me to really tap into who I really am, how much I truly matter, and uncover the potential that I have been missing out on. I truly feel like I can talk to Ronda for more than just our session allows. She offers the opportunity to be vulnerable without being judged. I am able to really open up, more than I ever have been able to any stranger in the past, or any person in general for that matter. Her genuine care for me as an individual is one that is so special and unique. Her knowledge and expertise is also one that surpasses any expert I have encountered. I leave every session feeling like a new layer has been peeled off, allowing my AUTHNETIC self to really shine through. I recommend Ronda for anyone who feels like they need professional care, help, or even just a great conversation. Thank you Ronda for all that you do, and most importantly, for being YOU!
SN, Madison, WI
Have an amazing day! I always love to hear from you so please don’t hesitate to email or call with any comments, questions or reflections you had while reading this article.
Ronda Stevens, MA, LMFT, Holistic Coach