I hope you are having a wonderful week so far! I am loving this amazing weather finally coming our way here in Wisconsin! We made an exciting family decision to get a pool this year! After 3 years of me slowly, yet persistently, talking with my husband about getting a pool, he has finally agreed! Although, I have to acknowledge the support and encouragement from our friends with pools…their “pool testimonials” were a big reason he finally agreed! I will have to share pictures with you once the pool is here.
Alright! So, I have a question for you. On a scale of 1-10, 1 being low and 10 being high, how would you rate yourself when it comes to loving yourself and seeing yourself for how amazing you truly are? If you are not at a 9 or a 10, then please keep reading.
In my years working with clients and through my own personal journey, I realize we all know it is important to have self-love, but we are not very good at seeing ourselves for how amazing we really are! The reason for this is because we have limiting beliefs that block us from seeing the truth!
Throughout the years of working with clients, I have heard a lot of limiting beliefs about self-love! Here are just a few examples.
- “If I say I am good at something, then I am being selfish.”
- “If I notice my strengths, then people will think I am bragging.”
- “If I love myself, then how can I be loving to others?”
The list goes on and on. So, one thing to ask yourself is, “What are my limiting beliefs about self-love and what gets in the way of seeing myself clearly for who I truly am?”
The more you increase your self-love, the more you can see who you truly are and the more this will allow you make decisions in your life that will help you heal, grow, and expand!
Before doing any self-love exercises, it is crucial for us to understand the 3 core principles of self-love…once we understand the 3 principles, then we can practiceJ
3 Principles of Self-Love!
- Not handing over defining who you are to others! We cannot give everyone the power to define our love and worthiness! It is not other people’s job to define our lovability and worthiness; it is ours.
- The worth of your Authentic Self, your spirit, your light, the very thing that makes you is unchanging! Can we make poor decisions in our life, yes! Can we be crabby and maybe say things we shouldn’t have because we did not think it through, yes! Should we say sorry to others because of these things, yes! We make mistakes. That is part of being human! The bottom line is that you are a wonderful light on this planet! You have so many gifts to share, and the reality is there is nothing you can do that will change who you truly are!
- When you hinge your self-worth on your performance or how others think of you. If you do, your self-worth will fluctuate based on those events! From personal experience, this mindset is EXHAUSTING!!! When we are simply hinging our self-worth on our performance and what others think of us, I promise you, it will never feel like you are enough!
There is perfectionist part of us that says, “If you please everyone and if you over perform, then you have worth!” That same part is also the same part that says do more, please more, perfect more…more, more, more and there is never an end to the more! Take back the power! Start giving yourself the credit you deserve for all the amazing things you do throughout the day. Instead of focusing on the things you did not do, focus on all the things you did – down to the simplest actions, such as eating a healthy breakfast!
Now that you know the 3 core principles of self-love, you are ready to put self-love exercise into action!
I have a ton of different exercises, but let’s just start with a few for you to tryJ Here are my favorite 3J
3 Self-Love Exercises to Start Practicing Today!
- Write 50 reasons you are fabulous! Just creating a list of the things we are good at and the spiritual gifts we were given, really shifts our energy. On a side note, for a lot of us, writing 50 strengths is a lot for us to think about in 1 sitting, since this way of thinking is so new for us. Don’t be discouraged if you can’t write all 50 right away. You will get to 50 easily; it will just take time, since this exercise is most likely out of your comfort zone!
- Eliminate self-judgment and replace it with self-appreciation! The key to this exercise is to be consciously aware of all your thoughts! The moment you notice a negative thought creeping in, I not only want you to state self-supporting and self-appreciating thoughts, but I also want you shift into the feelings of love and compassion as you make your loving statements to yourself. If you just try to say something positive to yourself, without making the emotional shift, the positive statements will fall on deaf ears because our inner critic will try to block the self-love trying to come in.
- Mirror throughout the day! Flood yourself with loving statements throughout the day. “You are so loving,” “You have a great sense of humor and make others laugh,” “You are such a good listener!” The more you flood yourself with loving statements, the more you will see yourself for who you truly are!
If you are curious how you are doing in the areas of self-love and you are wanting to dig a little deeper, to help give you a little more feedback!
As always, I love hearing from you! Please share additional ideas, comments, or questions with me if you have them!
Ronda Stevens is a licensed mental health therapist, certified health & wellness coach, certified holistic coach and founder of Ready, Set, Live Holistic Life and Wellness Coaching! Ronda has years of experience with compassionately guiding and supporting people to make changes that dramatically improve and change lives! To learn more, please visit her website at www.getreadysetlive.com. You can call contact her via email at firstname.lastname@example.org . She is also available via phone 1-800-558-7080.